NOTHING TO SEE HERE

No, literally, there's nothing to see here. RockRobotRock has teamed up with GammyPigeon to form RobotPigeon. It's a lot better and there is actually things to read, do and download at the following link:

ROBOT PIGEON.

Alphabeat take an Ultrabeating

We can't help but love what Ultrabeat have done with Alphabeat's new single 'What Is Happening' even if it has given us a bit of a headache.

We believe the word is craptacula.

Alphabeat vs. Ultrabeat 'What Is Happening'

Bogulta: We don't understand but we love it

Anyone who knows us will know that we have been banging on about taking a trip to Japan. The reasons behind this are numerous but mostly because we want to go to the Pokemon centre, buy some cool t-shirts and see if there are any good Japanese games for the PS3 to buy.

We will also add Bogulta to that list, two men who sum up everything we love and are envious of in Japanese culture. Like a more juvenile Enter Shikari after too much sugary drink, there are few words to describe the music on their MySpace other than both 'amazing' and 'complete nonsense'. There is something of a language barrier between us and them, and their only song with an English name is 'Scrap B.O.G'. It's a complete and utter, and a complete and incredible, racket.

We love it. We love it because it all sounds like angry robots.

Listen to Bogulta here. If you think your ears are up to the noise.

Sia. Now on at least the 14th of her nine lives

Any self respecting ear-owner should be well aware that Sia has potentially the greatest voice in music today and have been in love with her music for years. To us, knowing that Sia remains mostly undiscovered by so many people makes every Dido album sold sting like a bitch.

After the UK record buying public turned their noses and stiff upper lips at her most recent, and best, album 'Some People Have Real Problems', she has quite rightly fucked off to America in the hope that they will take her a little more seriously.

Here is a clip of what Britain will now be missing - although watching Sia singing on GM:TV wouldn't have been quite the same.



She looks amazing too. Like a sexy Victoria Wood. Apologies for the old man who keeps popping up at the beginning and end. He must be the American Lorraine Kelly.

Boyzone: The thieving bastards

Have you paid any attention to the ‘fuss’ over Boyzone putting a bit of boy-on-boy action in their new video? We doubt it very much. The idea of Stephen Gately lightly groping some male model hasn’t exactly set the world on fire and neither will their terrible new single ‘Better’.

It’s not so much that Take That remain steps ahead of their boyband rival, but more that Take That have finished the race, changed out of their running shorts, showered, got dressed and gone out for dinner to celebrate their triumph - but not before going home to watch a bit of telly first. And all the while Boyzone are still plodding around the track.

If the Boyzone ‘comeback’ wasn’t crap enough and their last rubbish single proof that there’s no dead horse left to flog, ‘Better’ sinks to new lows. Despite the big musical power of Mr Ronan Keating, this is a cover version of an old Tom Baxter single – and not a good one at that.

Worse still, the original Tom Baxter video not only used the same couples theme as the Boyzone video, but it even had some token gay couples in it as well.

Boyzone could only have jumped in the grave of Tom Baxter’s career and made themselves more comfortable if they’d all changed their first names to Tom and their surnames to Baxter.

Tom Baxter 'Better'


Big gay Boyzone 'Better'


AND WHILE WE’RE ON THE SUBJECT...

That bloody James Morrison and Nelly Furtado is a bit familiar. Oh yes, that’s because it’s exactly the same as the Snow Patrol and Martha Wainwright video but with a hotel room instead of a police cell.

Still - credit crunch, economic crisis and all that, there is clearly a shortage of good ideas to go around.

Valkyria Chronicles: game review

War is never a beautiful event and has been grittily portrayed in countless shooters over the years in all its grim reality. However, Valkyria Chronicles is a war game with a twist, painting - quite literally – a fictional European war with the most distinctive graphical style to hit the PlayStation 3, using stunning watercolour cell-shading to lighten plotlines as dark and depressing as any other battle-based title.

Valkyria Chronicles focuses on the struggle of nature loving Welkin Gunther, a reluctant commander of a small militia squad. Set in the small, neutral state of Gallia, a country overrun by an invading empire intent of plundering its natural resources for their own military gain. Alongside love interest Alicia Melchiott and a rag-tag squad of girls, boys, gay and trans-gendered soldiers, the moving story of Welkin’s struggle against brutal oppression and indiscriminate killings is as poignant and involving as some of modern gaming’s most celebrated tales.

Gameplay mixes strategic role-playing with action-packed gunplay missions - your choices before battle as crucial as your aim during skirmishes. Will you take long-ranged scouts to war or put your faith in the short-range fire power of shocktroopers? Hang back and rely on snipers or launch a frontal-assault on tank battalions with your anti-tank troops? Valkyria Chronicles tests your tactics as a commander, pushes your battlefield skills as a soldier and tugs the heartstrings as a player.

Sadly, the slow pacing of the game will prove unappealing to gamers keen for a quick fix of frantic gunfire. Valkyria Chronicles is packed with gloriously animated cartoon cut-scenes and lengthy conversion sections. But for those willing to involve themselves in something greater than another shallow shooter, the game’s storyline is ultimately its strongest suit, and Valkyria Chronicles goes some way to filling the role-playing desert that sadly still dogs the PS3.

As written for http://www.orange.co.uk/games/1478.htm

Dear Ocelot, Daft Punk would like their robot back

Wonderful remixers Ocelot have been a bit quiet recently. After smacking us (as well as the lucky stars of the video) in the face with their remix of Robyn's 'Be Mine' their remix of Dragonette's 'Competition' never saw the light of day, mainly because it was a remix of a Dragonette track. Wrong as it may be, not many people like Dragonette.

However, Ocelot have recently worked their magic (and in this instance the very same spell) on new remixes by bands who are popular. Very popular indeed.

Ocelot have turned The Killer's already amazing 'Human' into a mini robotic masterpiece and have turned the All American Rejects already quite good 'I Hope It Gives You Hell' into an, err, mini robotic masterpiece. If it ain't broke don't fix it etc, and in this instance we are very sure that Ocelot's vocoder most certainly is not broken, since it has seen more than liberal use on both of these remixes. Both tracks have been vocodered like it was 1998.

As people tend to do, Ocelot have whacked these remixes up on their MySpace page. We would like to point out that their own track, 'This Is Our Time' is one of recent history's greatest lost classics. If it wasn't for the blatent drug references it would have made a modern day Modjo or Stardust long ago. Listen here et-cetera.

PS. Cher did the vocoder thing in 1998. Hence the reference. What a long time ago that was.